Now as many folks who are likely to stumble across this post know, there is a video recently that went viral. It showcases a father who discovers a less the flattering letter his daughter shared on Facebook and then out of frustration and anger he takes out a gun and shoots the daughter lap top. After negating her claims and talking crap about her. Lots of folks chimed in to crown him as a rock star parent.
I am so very grateful that I have folks in my tribe who have responded with an alternate way of a parent.
Quite possible my favorite quote, “Your kids have choices in life, about what they do and how they think and how they feel about you and whether or not they will want you in their lives. Act accordingly. Hug. Laugh. Support. LISTEN. Be humble. Ask questions. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. And never, ever, assume that you are better, smarter, righter, or more entitled just because you are their parent.” ~ Jeff Sabo
A few others I admire also helped me remember the world is full of just as much good as it is misdirected unconnectedness. Freeplay life wrote this, Friends Don’t Let Friends Parent Batshit Crazy. Jen of the Path Less Taken had THIS to say. Heather really made my eyes leak with this one, How Not To Be a Father and a plea from Serendipitymamma, Do Better Please.
Reading the above blog posts and quotes reminded me that I had done a stellar job of surrounding myself with the sorts of parents who go about being respectfully in the world with the children, just like I strive to. And for a while there I was sure I would avoid writing a blog post on this matter. They had it covered. I couldn’t say it any better. The balance of batshit crazy parenting was being countered nicely with connected, love you like crazy, respect you parenting.
The reality though, I really can’t be off the hook cause other folks have it covered. Like my last post, More on the Why of the Ass Post, if I want the world to be different I can’t just sit around hoping for it. Or passing the buck to well doing others. I have to get off my ass (pardon the pun) and do something about it. So here I am adding my voice to the chorus of connected parents in saying, it just is not okay to pull power over your kids.
It’s not okay to use force, bullying, anger, threats, violence in the name of raising your kids up right. Enough said.
I adore children. My own, other peoples, strangers kids .. yep adore them. And if the truth were to be known a lot of the time I like them better then the adults who are traveling along side them. There are a large number of exception to this rule cause like I said above I have surrounded myself with tons of super cool people, adult and child alike. But when I am out in the bigger world, the grocery store, the local playground etc. I would much rather engage in a conversation with those free enough to play then those standing around making each other feel better about the disrespect they constantly toss at their children.
Because I can see these kids and all the wonder they are posed to share in the world, I add my voice to this conversation. Because I want every child to have the possibility of being respected without earning it, I add my voice to this conversation. Because I want the internet to be peppered with just as many articles celebrating the brilliance of childhood, I add my voice to this conversation. Because I want articles filled with loving kindness to be available to parents frustrated and looking for another way, I add my voice to this conversation. Because I believe compassion, love and connectedness are the beginnings of a more peaceful world, I add my voice to this conversation. Because I can’t make a different by silently believing children are worth more then shot up lap tops and controlling parents, I add my voice to this conversation.
To close out, here’s a little something a wrote a while back about the Unconditional in parenting.
“…those standing around making each other feel better about the disrespect they constantly toss at their children.” Unfortunately I’m in this boat; slim pickings locally for like minded mamas but I know they’re here because the best parenting books at the library are always on hold! I hope to gather a tribe like yours over time.
Love this post; particularly your thoughts after the sweet photo. Thanks!
[found you via freeplaylife. linking to you.]