Not a single one of us is perfect. Not a single one of us knows everything. And not a single one of us is getting through this lifetime without making a whole lot of mistakes. Admitting you are wrong to your children when you make a mistake or get a fact wrong, goes a long way to sharing the power with as opposed to holding power over.
I don’t know about you but I really like to be right. I was raised in a house where you were laughed at and made fun of when you got things wrong. So I hold tight to my sense of rightness. However, this journey of parenting has really humbled me. The world of the internet means my children often come across facts, tidbits and information that counters what I know to be true. And sometimes I am dead wrong about the things I thought to be true. Engaging from the place of “Wow, I had no idea. How did you figure that out?“ opens the doors to conversations that can expand on knowledge, redirect understanding and open minds. Shutting it down with, “That’s wrong” only does that SHUTS IT DOWN, for both of you. ‘
As well, our children are going to go out into a world of opinions and ideas without us. And I want my child to be able to hold down a healthy debate, stand up for what they believe to be true and consider new information. This here is my chance to model that for them. In doing so I am also saying to them nonverbally you matter and I love you.
Pulling this off for me means paying attention, listen a little bit more than a speak and having the sort of open heart that’s okay with being wrong and owning that. What might you be wrong about today and how will it open up a conversation with your child?