I over sorry on a very regular basis. This got me to thinking what am I truly apologizing for? Or am I truly apologizing?
As a parent I have never required my children to apologize. I have trusted they would figure out those situations where they truly felt regret or remorse and apply the accurate apology. I notice however, my oldest is indeed sorry using a lot.
My thoughts on this ? First up he clearly learned if from someone he loves (namely me). And that saying such things are “you don’t need to be sorry for that, ” or ” please stop using that word so much” weren’t really moving anything forward.
Deeper thought clearly required on my part. I realized most of my sorry sentences could be switched around to say “sorry for taking up space,” ” sorry for rocking the boat,” “sorry for being in your space with a conflicting opinion,”
Aha, this is why I am agitated and requesting my son stop sorrying so much, I don’t want him to be sorry for the things I am modeling one can end up apologizing for. Deep breath in deep breath out.
Good information to have. And the moving forward stage ?
Probably a good idea to reclaim the word. And use sorry only when I feel like it could complete the sentence, “I regret …. ” or “I feel remorseful for … ” Challenging? Yes! I am up for it and I have decided on a step further, to ditch the word sorry all together. I am going to take the path that requires I insert the afore mentioned sentence starters in place of a simple sorry. If I can’t complete the sentence I will sit and bite my tongue until the urge to say sorry passes.
Only time will tell if I can really pull it off. But truthfully the value is in the place where I noticed and wrapped my brain around the whole idea.